He’s never been afraid to challenge me. He made me elevate our life’s plan. He gave me purpose, by introducing me to a life that I didn’t see was for me. He introduced me to a new kind of love, twice. Him and Zeke.

One of the first things I learned was, it’s his world and I am lucky to exist in it. I was lucky to be part of watching this little person grow into himself. I started by removing the word ‘failure’ from my vocab. It’s a scary word, it causes unnecessary fear. And fear wasn’t something I was going to allow to control my life as his mother. People spend a lifetime running away from failure, when really failure is an experience, a true lesson of who you will become. So, instead of ‘failing,’ I ‘experienced’ my way through motherhood, and he allowed me to do so. I removed myself from many scenarios. Family, friends and business. I had to learn how to be a better person. I never wanted the baggage of my present or past life to be on him. I had to become the mom I was supposed to be. Which was nothing anyone was expecting of me.

My son recently graduated from law school… Proud is an understatement. When I think of all the obstacles presented to this young man on his journey, tears fill my eyes. He grew up in a system meant to suffocate him, and he excelled. Socially, educationally and financially. Together, him and I created a mother-son duo unheard of based on our social class. It was a life perfectly imperfect as a single person being a mom to a son. I’ve never dreamt about being married. It wasn’t top of mind, or even something I spoke of often. I was a bridesmaid about 100 times, I was so over it. And even though everyone said that being married would provide a better life for D’antal and I, deep down, I know I didn’t want it. Marriage was not the only way to achieve the life I knew I could create. Regardless of my marital status, I was a mom. And as long as I gave love, he would continue to be a product of love. And even though D’antal was little, he helped me create the life we deserved.

I watched him never give up on himself regardless of how hard it was.
I watched him walk into new school after new school with confidence.
I watched him stand in front of hundreds and speak, play football and mentor others. Through his words and actions, he changed lives. How could I not match that? How could I not do the same? How could I not have that passion for life? He showed me that. And together we chose success.

So, when he completed law school, which him and his classmates did through the pandemic, I wasn’t at all surprised. I know it wasn’t easy – but he sure did make it look that way. I know that it was through each lesson, he achieved this accomplishment. At no point and time did he ‘fail’ when writing a paper or exam, regardless of his grade, as long as he was willing to continue. And to be open to learning was all that he needed to succeed. I’m certain the process wasn’t perfect and with each imperfection a lesson was learned and an experienced gained.

It’s always interesting when people congratulate me on my son’s success saying “good job mom” and I’ll take it. But I feel that anything after he turned 18 was his accomplishment, based on the commitment he made to himself. And it was my job as his mom to support his commitment. Everything beyond high school happened because of the discipline that he had within himself to create the life he wanted and saw for himself.

I love my kid. I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone this much until he arrived. We have grown so much together and yet individually. He is a man, and I am certain he has felt this way for some time. I feel like the hardest phase of parenting that no one talks about, is being a parent to your adult child. They are their own person, who now have the option to implement all that you have taught them. They now also have the choice of including you in their lives. Which is a privilege. I am grateful to still be an integral part of my son’s life. I wish this privilege for everyone.

D’antal, thank you for making the world a better place, not only for me but for everyone you encounter. Thank you for showing me that nothing is permanent… That even small steps lead to big accomplishments. You showed the world to never judge someone based on their current situation. For others, you may have been someone to once “pity,” but you always stood tall, stood strong and made progress. You proved to everyone that growing up with just your mom does not mean you’re limited – even when everyone else put limitations on you. Thank you for believing in me, so that I could believe in myself, all while believing in you.

I am so excited to see you change the world D’antal. You have the power and ability to do so. I have and will always be so proud of you. Now take what God gave you and rule the world. Congratulations… You did it.